Work.

I started waiting tables when I was 18. Well, I started out as a hostess, then after about 3 months I was given a shot at waiting tables. The restaurant was called W.D. Crowley's and it was rather upscale in my mind. The best thing on the menu was an Australian lobster tail which was 16 oz. or so and it cost $60 which was a lot of money back in the pre-Clinton years.

I wasn't a born waitress. No matter what people thing about the job of food service, I will tell you this, it ain't as easy as it looks. I have heard countless assholes in my time say, "You bring the food from there to here. A chimp could do it." I'd like to see them do it...the asshole with the manners of a monkey, I mean. It's not exactly neurology, but it does require a combination of speed, skill and cognitive function which not everyone has...or can learn for that matter. There's a great deal going on and you have to keep it all in mind and moving and on top of that, you have to PLEASE people, which could just be the hardest job on earth. Given my choice of earning a dollar working a problem out in a solitary lab or attempting to please 16 or so hungry people, the lab is by far the easier choice.

But even so, the lure of service work is like a siren song once you've sampled it. I think of it like career gambling. You have an idea of the riches to be made in one shift and the knowledge of what will have to happen to make it a reality, but the hustle is tricky and there are no guarantees. I love the managers or other workers who have tried to tell me how much money they make. "Oh yeah, servers here make $250 a night generally." Bullshit. The only place that really happens with any regularity are the Jean Georges and Cuts of the world and those jobs are rare and extremely difficult to maintain. But a good living can be had and it all seems so easy. The problem is, it leads no where. Like gambling, when the game is over you may be up or down, but you gotta come back and do it again and you've built nothing and there is no security.

I'm trying to think about this while I look for a second job. I am working part-time as a fundraiser for non-profits (think nice boiler room), but the work is taxing on my soul even though I feel it's for a good cause and I can't make my (greatly reduced) ends meet on the pay. I'll have to find a second job...and be in a hurry about it too. But the question becomes, how many times can I pony up to the crap table and roll the dice knowing I'm not really doing anything different that Sisyphus did. And the truth is, I don't know if I can find a waitressing job right now. The global economic crisis means that not only am I competing with every L.A. actor and wanna be but I may even be up for a job opposite one of those corporate jokers who thought the job was so easy and though I've done this job for about a score, that means nothing in this casino my friend. Maybe I should give neurology a go?